How To Feel Comfortable In Your Own Skin

How To Feel Comfortable In Your Own Skin by Jennifer Ledford

As a personal trainer and someone who has overcome my own body image issues, I am relieved and excited to watch more and more people say no to the pressures of the diet culture and yes to becoming their own best body.  Our society has begun to reject the notion that there is only one acceptable or “healthy” body type and is embracing the fact that health and beauty really does come in all shapes and sizes.  As more and more people recognize that they are uniquely designed and no two bodies are the same, the focus is shifting away from striving for perfection and more toward being healthy and positive about our bodies (flaws and all).

One of the first steps toward being positive about one’s body is self-acceptance and/or “feeling comfortable in your own skin.”  It’s important to understand that self-acceptance does not mean you just “let yourself go.”  What it means is that you will be kind to yourself and your body in every season and every stage of your life.  It means that if you do need or want to lose weight, you will choose a healthy path that can be sustained long-term and won’t force your body to become a weight that is completely unnatural for it.

Being positive about your own body doesn’t always come easy.  Most people, by nature, are compassionate and kind when it comes to how they look at other people’s bodies, but when it comes to things like our own cellulite or the extra five pounds we gained over the holidays, we can be way more critical.  Basically, humans can be downright hard on themselves.

It may seem like no big deal to speak negatively about your body; however, over time, it can start to become your identity.  This is why it’s so important to pay attention to the words that you speak when you are talking about yourself.  Do you say good things about yourself or do you tend to be over-critical?  It’s next to impossible to feel good about yourself if you are constantly bashing your body.

One of the best ways to know if you are picking on yourself too much is to ask yourself if you would ever say the things you say about your own body to your friend or your daughter.  If the answer is “no way!” then it may be time to change the conversation with and about yourself.

Five ways to stop the body bashing, Feel Comfortable In Your Own Skin, and encourage yourself:

  1. Avoid comparing yourself to others.  There is no one else like you on the planet so it is completely unfair and unrealistic to compare yourself to others.  Sure, there are similar body types, however you can place twenty people on the same exact diet and exercise routine and they will usually all have different results.  Comparison to others only causes heartache.  Focus on being the best YOU that you can be.
  2. Create healthy boundaries.  Complaining about one’s body parts has become a way that people connect with each other in social circles.  As harmless as a comment here and there might seem, this is not only bad for your self-esteem, it can completely derail you from your healthy weight loss efforts or any other goal you are trying to achieve.  If you notice that the conversation has turned into people criticizing themselves, address it head on with something like “Hey guys, no beating up on ourselves today, okay?”
  3. Hand out compliments.  Compliments are the exact opposite of bashing which is what makes compliments so powerful.  Give yourself and a minimum of one other person a sincere compliment every day for the next thirty days.  You will be AMAZED at how good it makes you feel about yourself and the trail of goodwill that you leave behind you.
  4. Be unapologetically you.  Life is way too short to spend it worrying about what other people think of you.  Focus on being healthy and living your best life.  Just say no to changing yourself for the purpose of acceptance from society, the media, and/or the diet culture.
  5. Create a folder of positive reminders.  Being positive about your body is an on going process and no matter how good you get at  rocking who you were designed to be,  negative and critical thoughts can still pop up from time to time. Just last week I was looking at some old pictures of myself and judgmental thoughts like “you used to be so skinny” began to pop up in my head.  Fortunately, I know better than to give those types of thoughts much airtime.  I quickly reminded myself “yes, I was skinnier but  I also had messed up hormones and my body was broken down.  I am so much healthier and happier now then I was back then.” Positive thoughts are like powerful weapons used for good. Come up with a long list of kind things you can say about yourself.  Then, when a critical thought pops into your head, pull something from your list to counter the negative thought.

FEELing COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN is powerful

One of the most powerful things that you can achieve is the ability to be comfortable in your own skin.  In a society that places way too much value on the external and not nearly enough value on the internal, it can be difficult at times.  I look forward to the day when it is more common than not for people to be comfortable in their own skin each and every day.  Until then, let’s be the bold ones that step out and lead the charge!

Shared with love,
Jennifer

How To Feel Comfortable With Your Body And Enjoy Your Life

Jennifer Ledford - Hawaii Vacation - Be Comfortable With Your Body Enjoy Your Life - Broken FootLast week my husband and I joined some of our close family for an amazing beach vacation in Kauai.  I have never been to Hawaii and it was such a special treat!

Some of you know that I broke my foot back in September.  It’s not completely healed and I’m still wearing a boot, which means I haven’t been able to exercise the way I normally do for several weeks.  I’m also pasty white right now because I didn’t hang out in the sun as much as I normally do this time of year.   I decided a spray tan was out due to the fact that I can’t stand very long on my broken foot without the boot.  The tan is  not worth interrupting the healing process.

Did the fact that I was a bit less toned and neon white mean I was going to hide under a cover up?  Heck no!  It’s Hawaii and I like to wear bikinis.  I also stopped caring what other people think about my body a long time ago.  If someone is shallow and doesn’t like my cellulite then they don’t have to look at it.  I’m not wearing my bathing suit for them.  I’m wearing it so I can play on the beach, get some sun on my body, and create fun memories.  Plain and simple.

One of the reasons a person will hire a personal trainer is to help them get ready for a special event or trip.  Beach vacations tend to be some of the most common trips that motivate people to want to lose weight.  For many people getting into a bathing suit and heading out to the beach can stir up all kinds of comparison and body shaming.  If they don’t look like a fitness or swimsuit model the client feels they shouldn’t get in a suit.   Or, if they do decide to put on a suit they believe they should  cover it up with other clothing.

The reality is most of us DON’T look like traditional swimsuit models, myself included.  I’m not willing to deprive and torture myself to get anywhere close to looking like most swimsuit models.  That’s just not my natural body type.  I have to do things that are physically and mentally unhealthy for me to get even close and I’m not willing to treat myself that way.

Losing weight for a trip can be a slippery slope that can lead to unhealthy restrictive dieting that is unsustainable and will only harm you in the long run.  Dieting robs you of your joy and keeps you from living in the present.  When we restrict ourselves in hopes of obtaining the “perfect” body that we think is accepted by society, we are setting ourselves up for potential failure.  Your body does not like to be deprived and restricted.  It will rebel against suffering and that is when binging can occur.

Treating Your Body Right

When you focus on eating plenty of food that you know is good for you and exercising for all of the right reasons, you will settle into your natural body weight and it will no longer be a struggle to maintain it.  However, I can honestly and personally share with you that if you continue to try to force something unnatural on your body, it becomes a prison.  Will the scale go up and down from time to time?  Sure it will.  That’s NORMAL.  It’s called life.

One of my favorite plus size models, Ashley Graham, shares this awesome insight on body image and self acceptance, “I felt free once I realized I was never going to fit the narrow mold that society wanted me to fit in.”  I totally agree with her because I felt the same freedom when I gave up on being a size too small and decided to focus on being the healthiest me I can be.

You don’t have to lose weight to put on a bathing suit or any other item of clothing.  Don’t ever allow the pressures of the diet culture  to cause you to miss out on having fun.  Be a rebel.  Love yourself no matter what size your bathing suit is.

And most importantly,  go out and LIVE!

Shared with love,
Jennifer