Tag: life tips

How To Handle A Setback And Keep Moving Forward

How To Handle A Major Setback In Your Life by Certified Personal Trainer and Healthy Lifestyle Coach Jennifer Ledford

Life can be unpredictable at times.  We live in a less than perfect world which means we will all have to deal with some kind of trial or setback at some point and time.  Some trials just happen to be more difficult than others.

Last week I stepped on some uneven sidewalk walking home from a restaurant. One minute I was walking and holding my husband’s hand, the next minute I was on the ground writhing in pain.  I tried putting weight on it and was able to for a small amount of time but after awhile it became obvious I was not able to put any weight on it all.  The emergency room confirmed that my foot was indeed broken, put a splint on it, and referred me out to an orthopedic surgeon.

Over the years, my job as a personal trainer has allowed me to help more people than I can count recover from injuries.  I have had the opportunity to work under the direction of the specialists and the physical therapists.  My career has allowed me to learn quite a bit about the rehabilitation process so, when the doctors were explaining my injury, I had a pretty good idea of what I was facing.  This personal trainer, business owner, wife, home maker, and dog mom was not going to be able to put weight on her foot for several weeks.  Ugh!  Almost everything I do requires that I’m on my feet.

Fortunately, my husband is totally stepping up to the plate, we were able to get some help with the dogs right away, and we’ve had wonderful friends volunteer to help.  However, after about five days of trying to get around without putting weight on my left foot, I began to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and even a bit depressed.  The truth is this is a major interruption that is affecting many areas of my life.

Fortunately, as tempted as I was to feel sorry for myself and slip into pity party mode, I DID NOT allow myself to go there.  I admitted to myself and God that I was struggling and then took action steps to turn my mindset around and focus on what I can do rather than what I can’t do right now.

How To Handle A Setback In Any Area Of Your Life

In today’s video I share tips on how to handle a setback in any area of your life and continue moving forward toward your goals.  We can’t always control our circumstances in life.  We can, however, always control how we respond to them.

Enjoy the video.  I shot it right after a hair appointment so credit for the hair goes to John Ryan at Festoon salon.  🙂  And, if you think this video could bless someone else, please feel free to share it!

Make it a great week!

With Love,
Jennifer Ledford

Book mentioned in the video: Failing Forward

 

The Most Common Regret For Older Americans And How You Can Avoid It

shutterstock_370418675 - The Most Common Regret

My ninety two year old grandfather passed on last week.  We will miss him dearly.  It’s always sad to lose a loved one; however, there is something slightly comforting about the fact that he lived to be ninety two years of age.

His passing does have me wondering if, in his mind, his life was a full one.  This question prompted me to do a little research on the most common regrets of the elderly.  Based on the life expectancy in this nation, the majority of us will live well into our golden years.  Personally, I would like to make the most of my time here on earth and I’m guessing you would too so even if the senior discount seems a long ways away from now, I believe you will be interested in what I discovered.

The Most Common REGRET OF THE ELDERLY

In 2004, a Cornell University professor by the name of Karl Pillemer launched The Legacy Project.  Fifteen hundred Americans over the age of sixty five were asked about the most important lessons they learned over the course of their lives.  Apparently Professor Pillemer was not prepared for the answer.  He expected “big” regrets like addictions, affairs, bad business decisions, etc.  Nope, it turns out that the most common regret was worrying too much.  

After reading multiple lists of the top regrets of the elderly, I’m not surprised that worry came in at number one because it tends to be the root of many of the other common regrets this age group shares.

Here are some of the other regrets I discovered:

  • wishing they hadn’t cared so much about what others thought
  • been happier
  • pursued the career they dreamed of instead of what their parents wanted for them
  • working too much
  • playing it too safe
  • passing up on the “dream job”
  • never asking her or him out on a date

All of the regrets above can be tied to fear of the unknown, otherwise known as worry.

According to scientists who study worry, the key characteristic is that it takes place in the absence of actual or real stressors.  In other words, most worrying occurs when there is nothing concrete or “real” to worry about.

How To Reduce Regret

To reduce the number of regrets in our lives experts recommend spending more time on problem solving and less time worrying.  Another way to look at it is to focus on the solution rather than the problem.  For example, if you are worried about money, then start a savings account and create a realistic budget that helps you to build up wealth.  Focus on the solution rather than the problem.

Or, if you are worried about what others think of you, ask yourself why you care.  If it’s your boss and you want to improve your performance, continue to sharpen your skills and be the employee you would want to hire.  If you are worried about something like how you look in a bathing suit, remind yourself that most people are more worried about how they look in their own bathing suit and focus on enjoying yourself and the environment around you.  Be the empowering example that sets others free at the beach. 🙂

It’s also important to remember not to worry about things we can’t control.  I can’t make anyone like me.  However, I can continue to work on my people skills and do my best to be someone that others like to be around.  Not everyone that walks this earth is going to like me so as long as I know I’m giving it my best shot, I can’t worry about pleasing everyone.

Worrying does more than just steal your joy.  It’s hard on your health and can keep you from walking toward your destiny.

Fortunately, problem solving has the opposite effect of worry.  Focusing on solutions will empower you, relieve stress, and help you move forward toward success.

One of the most valuable things a seasoned or elderly person can share is their wisdom and experience.  Let’s learn from their regrets and do our best to have less of our own when we’re asked the same question at their age.

Shared with love,
Jennifer Ledford

 

Eleven Ways To Live Well And Age Gracefully

Happy Birthday - Jennifer Ledford - Age Gracefully

It’s my birthday!  I turn forty six years old today.  I have to say it’s almost surreal to me.  I often forget that I’m in my mid-forties because I still feel thirty on the inside.  While I may not feel like I’m in my forties, my age has allowed me to obtain a healthy amount of experience and knowledge.  And for that I am extremely grateful!

I actually like birthdays and embrace mine with open arms.  I’m not someone that has ever had the desire to resist growing up.  I’ve always wanted to be mature in my mind and young at heart.  To me, that’s the best of both worlds.

How To Live  Well and Age Gracefully

Over the past forty six years I’ve had the opportunity to learn quite a few things about life, fitness, health, and aging and since it’s my birthday I wanted to share some of them with you.

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff.  I’m sure you’ve read this more than once.  The part I purposely left out of the famous phrase is “and it’s all small stuff.”  I left it out because sometimes the problem is not small at all.  It’s important not to get worked up over small things that can either be ignored or solved easily.  Limiting stress in your life is one of the top things you can do for your health.  When you limit getting stressed over the minor issues, you’ll have way more strength to deal with the larger ones.
  • Love yourself.  Some people confuse this with pride and are uncomfortable with the thought of loving themselves.  Loving yourself means you respect yourself and believe you deserve the best possible outcomes in life.  One of the first steps to loving yourself is to avoid negative self talk and to reject anything negative spoken over your life by another person.
  • Discover who you are and be authentically you.  This is huge!  There is only one you.  Learn what’s important to you and pursue goals that you desire to fulfill.  Sometimes that’s not always the “safe path” that a parent or counselor is suggesting you follow.  It may include some calculated risks.  Avoid the temptation to copy someone else’s life and go out and create your own legacy.
  • Share your gifts.  We are all designed with unique talents and gifts.  I once heard a wise woman say that she believed that one of the reasons our world has so many problems is because not everyone discovers and shares their gifts.  When we hide our talents the world misses out and so does the individual that possesses the gift.
  • It’s okay to say no.  Maintaining boundaries is one of the most important things we can do for our physical, emotional, and mental health.  It also helps us reserve our strength and energy for the people in our lives that are counting on us.
  • Forgive freely.  Forgiving yourself and others helps contribute to a healthy mind and body.  Research has linked unforgiveness to serious illness which makes forgiveness a really important part of your life.  I realize it can be tough to forgive at times, especially when the other person doesn’t seem to deserve it.  If you are having a tough time forgiving someone else, remind yourself that it’s for your own personal well-being to forgive the offense. Eventually your emotions will catch up to your decision to forgive.  I’m a spiritual person so whenever I am struggling with forgiving someone or even myself, I ask God to heal my heart and help me forgive.
  • Eat well.  We all need to eat so we might as well eat food that will help keep us healthy and vibrant-looking.  Focus on eating whole foods and limit processed foods.  Avoid things like high fructose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated oils.  Make sure that you recognize everything on a food label’s ingredient list.  Learn to make healthy meals that you enjoy.  Take time out to feast with your family and friends.  Eat out at interesting restaurants that serve fresh ingredients.  Focus on eating for health rather than dieting.  Life is too short to spend it restricting yourself, counting calories, or feeling guilty about food.
  • Exercise.  It’s recommended that we all get an average of thirty minutes of exercise per day for health purposes.  Exercise at your own personal fitness level and choose things that are fun.  Exercise outdoors when possible for added stress reduction.
  • Drink plenty of water.  This one is easy!  Staying hydrated not only helps your metabolism function well it can help your skin maintain a more youthful appearance.
  • Have fun.  It’s been said that laughter is the best medicine so do it often.  Schedule fun into your week.  Be present wherever your feet are planted and look for the hidden blessings that are around you each and every day.  If you are struggling to find joy in your day it may be time for a change.  Maybe it’s time to find a new job, get some new friends, or try a new exercise routine, etc.
  • Keep growing.  I have the opportunity to work with people that are retired and the people that are thriving the most have not stopped growing.  Some of them went back to work part time while others are doing things like volunteering in their community, studying a language, traveling, exercising, taking cooking lessons. They are involved in politics, helping make documentary films, writing memoirs, and more.  In order to keep your mind sharp, you MUST use it.  It’s also important that you socialize and stay engaged.  It may sound appealing to retire and sit back right now when your schedule is not jam packed but too much “retirement” can have a negative effect on your mind and body.  It’s okay to take a year off from the rat race.  However, it’s a good idea to use some of that time to plan what you’d like to do next in your life.

Time is precious.  Spend it on the things that are most important to you and with the people that matter most to you.  Give yourself grace and avoid comparing yourself to others.  Life is about being your own personal best and that’s different for everyone!

Here’s to birthdays and a super blessed week!

With Love,
Jennifer