Why I Stopped Comparing Myself To Others

 
It’s pretty normal to have experienced comparison to others at some point or time in your life.  For example, that moment you see someone on the street, in a magazine, or in your neighborhood that seems so put together and successful that you are tempted to be just a tad bit jealous. You know what I mean, from appearances it looks like they have the perfect hair, body, home, job, family, pet, etc.

And then, you start thinking “if only I had what they have I’d be happy.”

I’ve even heard personal growth gurus say “if you see someone that has what you want then do what they do. “

Um, yes and no.

I agree it’s a great idea to pick the brain of a successful person to learn proven principles that produce positive results. However, if you don’t know the person well or their history all you get to see and hear is the finished product. Behind every successful image lies a story of personal dreams, hard work, and failures.

And once you see the sacrifices they make, or they daily schedule they keep, you could decide their path is not for you.

If you find yourself wanting what someone else has, the best thing to ask yourself is are you willing to do what they did to get there? And, do you really want their life or is it the outward appearance you desire?

Years ago, I was sure that I wanted the exact life of a certain mentor I was learning from. I thought she was just like me. Funny thing, the more I coached with her and became more comfortable with who God designed me to be, I realized how different we were.  I really didn’t want her life at all. Not because there is anything wrong with her life, but it’s not who I am.

This set me free to be confident in my own skin. I no longer desired to be just like her, I wanted to become the best me I could be and fulfill my own dreams.

Friend, whether you are pursuing weight loss, health, fitness, relationship, business, or even philanthropic goals, it’s important that they mimic the desire of your heart and they serve the life you want to live long term. Whenever we try to copy someone else’s life it can turn out to be unfulfilling and unsustainable. In the end, this can lead to depression. No one wants that!

I truly believe that God has a path for each and every one of us. And, when you choose to listen to your heart and walk down that path, you will experience success in every area of your life beyond your wildest dreams!

That, I can promise.

With much love,

Jennifer Ledford

 

A Healthy Body Image Is Key to Permanent Weight Loss

 

Are you searching for some encouraging words on body image? I found a great quote by Oprah Winfrey.  It is such a powerful statement that I want to share it with you and discuss the importance of a healthy self image.

“Say bye-bye to feeling bad about your looks!”

 

“Say bye-bye to feeling bad about your looks.  Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others.

This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself. The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the story line that says you’re too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgment, and that is the first step toward transforming your experience of the world.”

I agree wholeheartedly with Oprah that we have actually allowed the media to make us feel inadequate. We have succumbed to unhealthy diets — and sometimes painful exercise just to “fit in”.

I believe that you were uniquely designed. Some of us are thinner than others. I also believe it is perfectly normal to exercise and eat right so you look great in a bathing suit — or getting those “guns” to look good in a t-shirt. However, not everyone has the time or the desire to look like a model on the cover of a fitness magazine.

Interestingly enough, an unhealthy body image does not discriminate. This type of self-loathing can occur for any body size. When I was a size two, I was never satisfied with my looks. Now, I’m a size 6-8 with lots of curves and I love the way I look. Am I motivated by vanity? Sure I am.  However, I am no longer a slave to it. I exercise, eat healthy, and focus on living a balanced life.

A poor self-image sabotages your weight loss.

 

An unhealthy body image leads to yo-yo dieting, over training, and unhealthy eating patterns. These patterns can actually cause weight gain. Yo-yo dieting and over training can actually cause your metabolism to slow down. Being unhappy with your body can cause binge eating which will destroy your hard work. At this point, guilt can set in which may lead to depression and often times more binging.

What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror? Years ago a fellow fitness coach used the phrase “watch your words, your body’s listening!” That forever stuck with me. When you speak negatively about yourself, your subconscious accepts the information as truth.

And, since the brain “fights to be right,” your subconscious will automatically want to carry out what you said about yourself. If you say “I have a big gut,” then your brain will agree. You will do what it takes to maintain that “big gut.” This is not just ooky-spooky hocus pocus. This has been proven by neurologists!

You can develop and maintain a healthy body image — here’s how:

 

1)  Discover what you want! Take time to write what you want your health and body to look like — not how the media says you should look. Research what it would take to accomplish these goals. Then decide if your goals are realistic and mirror the life you desire. Not everyone wants to be at the gym five days a week. 

Once you have a reasonable set of health and fitness goals, ignore the outside chatter. There will always be some new diet or pill, a well-meaning friend, and Lord knows the magazines waiting to tell you that your plan is not ambitious enough. Or, that their way is better. My favorite is the person posing and asking “don’t you want to look like me?”

Now, I’m not saying to be closed-minded on a better way of doing things. I’m saying you should always question if a health or fitness idea fits into your life and values.

2)  Speak Success! Tell your body what you want, not what you don’t want. When you look in the mirror, use phrases like “I am losing weight,” or “I have a flat stomach.”  In the beginning this can be tough. You tend to think “you are lying.” However, you are not. In my favorite success book, The Bible, it says “speak as if it is already.” This is called faith my friend! You are believing you can accomplish your goals!

Negative thoughts will enter your mind. That’s normal. You’re human! Just don’t let them leave your lips. Replace each negative thought with a positive statement. If that’s tough in the beginning, use one of my favorite personal quotes. If you don’t have anything nice to say about yourself, don’t say anything at all. You wouldn’t say something that mean to a friend, so why say it to yourself?

Leave notes around the house as reminders to speak positively about yourself. This will help you build the mental muscles you will need to make success talk a habit.

3)  Birds of a feather flock together! Pay attention to how your friends talk about their own bodies. Do they have a healthy self-image, or do they tend to put themselves or others down? Now I’m not suggesting you dump all your friends. Sometimes we need to examine if a relationship is healthy for us or not. If you notice friends putting themselves down, take the opportunity to respond with positive attributes you can point out about them. This practice will help you do the same for yourself. And, you will discover people just can’t seem to get enough of you!

A healthy self-image is critical to losing weight and maintaining it without having to be a slave to dieting. This is powerful my friend. Take it seriously!

Have a question or a tip on  overcoming body image issues?  Please comment below. I want to hear from you!

Blessings to you and yours!

Jennifer

 

Should You Weigh Yourself? Or Not?

The other day I was at the doctor’s office for an annual check-up. The nurse asked me to stand on the scale. I hopped on (with shoes and weater). She told me the number, “134.” Next, she escorted me into the room and left me by myself.

What happened next is very significant. I looked in the mirror and thanked God for my curves and my healthy body. And I thanked God for something even more important. It is so liberating to look at weight and clothing size as simply a number! Let me explain why this was such a big deal. There was a time when I weighed 116. Quite honestly, back then I considered 120lbs or more to be unacceptable! I wasn’t very healthy mentally or physically. My philosophy was the lower the number and the smaller the pants size, the better.

Hopefully, body image is not something you struggle with. But, if you are someone who does and are tired of it, you may be wondering how I have become so comfortable in my own skin. Let me share some secrets with you!

  1. Ignore your scale for a week. I have nothing against weighing yourself periodically, but this day and night weighing in can drive you insane. Weight fluctuates for many reasons. If you are someone who looks at those numbers as simply data and do not get emotional about it, I see no issue with a daily weigh-in.

    However, if you get all worked up or even depressed, then I suggest a once a week weigh-in. It should be on the same day, same time of day, and without clothes. This will help you track your positive progress and catch any small weight gain quickly.

  2. Embrace your body type. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Some are long and lanky, some are curvy. Some build bulk and some do not. I am not suggesting you accept being unhealthy or uncomfortable in your clothes. My desire for you is that you achieve your personal best–not what Hollywood or any other source tells you.

    My weight is considered heavy or overweight in Hollywood. But walking down the street, I am considered slender. Once I stopped comparing myself to the models in the magazines and focused on looking my personal best, I stopped obsessing about my weight.

  3. Decide what YOU want! You may want to “look” like the guy or gal on the cover of Mens’ Health or Shape Magazine! But do you know what your role model eats? Do you know the amount of time he works out—or that he’s paid to work out?

    Have you considered the photograph may have been air brushed–or the possibility that he’s had cosmetic surgery? A better idea might be to set a goal of feeling confident on the beach this summer? Or dropping one or more clothing sizes? You might even simply want to get the thumbs up at your next physical from your doctor!

  4. Change your language! This is critical. Maintaining a healthy, trim, toned body for life requires a variety of different steps. However, without this one you will have a tough road. I absolutely cringe when I hear men or women announce they have fat thighs, or ugly calves, or a “jelly” belly.

    The brain fights to be right. So each time you speak this over your body you are telling your subconscious that you are fat. This will cause behavior that is opposite to your desired goal. To quote Dr. Jack Atnip “Focus on what you want, NOT what you don’t want”.

    Substitute negative self talk with phrases like “body, you are strong and losing weight every day”, or “body, you burn off all calories I consume and my abs are getting tighter”. This can be tough for women who have friends or family that sit around and talk what I call the “fat language”. In the beginning you may just have to start with “if you don’t have anything nice to say to YOURSELF, don’t say it all”.

  5. Pick your weight and then take action! Earlier I mentioned my weight of 134. This is the weight I currently maintain without dieting or damaging my body. At this weight I’m comfortable in my clothing, including my bathing suit! I can afford to eat out once a week without even thinking twice about it.

    I do weigh myself periodically because I want to stay 134. I know what causes me to push the needle up, so I make healthy choices without depriving myself. Once you’ve determined a program that is realistic and offers results you’ll be satisfied with, it’s a lot easier to set a lifetime weight goal.

    Stop focusing on the numbers and pay attention to things like: how your clothes fit; how you’re breathing (short of breath?); how many steps your pedometer registered today; or how many meals you made at home.

Remember–there is only one you! You are uniquely designed. Avoid letting anyone set your goals for you—not the media, the medical community, our friends, or your family! When you are living your own life you can achieve anything!

Has this article helped you in any way? Do you have any questions? Please leave a comment or question for me. This site is designed for you so et me know how I can help you on your weight loss and/or healthy lifestyle journey!

Can you do me a favor? Jump on over to my Facebook page and tell me your thoughts. Does this sound like a good way to overcome your body image ssue? I await your comments! http://www.facebook.com/jcherryledford

Blessings to you and yours,

Jennifer